Habit Stacking 2018

In addition to writing about travel, I am finding that I also enjoy exploring the day-to-day of home life. The practice of having a word that defines your goals for a year is one that I have casually adopted; all I can remember is one from a few years ago that was 'Joy'. I don't think that one was particularly successful and I am sure I didn't have a plan to make more joy happen. This was before the concept of 'spark joy' by Marie Kondo, by the way. Now that's a plan!

The word for me for 2018 is 'Habits'. I picked it partially because I was reading Gretchen Rubin's 'Better Than Before' for a third time, even though I typically don't re-read books. Every time I read it, I learn something new, and this time it finally sunk in how I might spend more time on the activities that are meaningful to me. Plus, I love watching TV and didn't plan to give that up, although perhaps I could watch less of it.

Then I dove a little deeper into the concept of habit stacking, which is taking something you already do, and build a stack of shorter activities, when, added up over time really make a significant difference. Rubin's book asks the reader to identify what habit you wish you could change about yourself. The immediate answer was 'practice the violin'. Uh oh.

You see, my violin and I have a complicated relationship. I started playing it when I was 5, in first grade.

Okay, that's pretty cute!

The violin was a constant part of my life all the way through college. It introduced me to me my first taste of success, mastery and striving. It brought me friendships and competition. It brought me travel and a college scholarship, but some days, or years, it was my nemesis. It defines a lot of who I am.

20 years playing with the orchestra!

Yet, I shared with my sister a couple of years ago my deep secret - I did not enjoy playing it anymore. I was in an orchestra, I wasn't playing well, and the conductor was often snippy, so that wasn't a pleasant way to spend time. As I came back grumpy and defeated from another rehearsal, my husband remarked, "you don't seem to be having much fun."

He was right, and I realized something had to change. After quite a bit of thought, I took a break. I notified the orchestra I was taking a sabbatical, reserving the option to go back, but also giving myself the option to never go back. I then used my newly found free time to try other things that interested me. I wrote this post about dance classes, and I'll be writing one soon about my experiences with community theater. For the first time since probably high school, I was participating in activities that I loved, that I had chosen for myself, and that challenged me.

Teenage violinist

Therefore, for the past year and a half, I was violin-free, by choice. Overall, I really enjoyed the time off. I relished doing new activities, and having the weekends more open again. I did find that my left hand decidedly did not like being on hiatus -it ached distantly as if a phantom limb that desired to walk again.

Then, when I answered that question posed in the book, I decided I would aim to practice the violin on a regular basis. For me. And for my hand! No pressure, just doing enough to be limber and able to play most anything at a given moment in time.

In mid-January, I scheduled a bit of time in the morning. I was already getting up early to pick up downstairs (outward order makes me feel calmer - thanks, Gretchen), and I had a 5 minute block of meditation time that was going well. By meditate, most mornings that means sipping a cup of coffee and waking up, but it works for me. The goal was for violin practice to fit in with this block because it is a bit of a housekeeping maintenance chore, but there is a meditative quality to playing as well.

Music corner

For the violin block, I set a 10 min. timer (actually, it is 11 min., 1 second to account for switching music). And so I began. And it seems to be working! It's not too long for me to not have time to do it most mornings, and I really feel like I have accomplished something already in the day. It feels good to know I am keeping up with a part of my life that I am good at. When I went back to play with my orchestra for one concert this beginning of the year, I was able to take part in 2.5-hour rehearsals with little discomfort, and I was keeping up with the rest of the group.

Driving home from a rehearsal, I remembered back in fourth grade, when my beloved elementary school orchestra teacher, Dr. Cooley, suggested that I should practice at home. The concept was foreign to me -when I went home from school it was time to play and ride my bike, not work on something. He gently suggested just 10 minutes would be a good start. I was honestly horrified by the concept, and while trying to do so once in a while in elementary school, I have never ever enjoyed practicing because it has been expected of me from external sources. Even as an eventual music performance major, it was a significant struggle.

Now that I am deciding for myself to practice, it comes much more readily.

Dr. Cooley near the upper right hand side of the photo.
It has taken me 40 years to really hear Dr. Cooley, but I finally did.